Tagged: poetry

It’s on a need to know basis

Blata Cafe in Istanbul with woman reaching up to many colourful umbrellas lining up above with text on screen reading learn to be ok with people not knowing your side of the story and remember it's ok to live a life that people don't understand in fact I would highly encourage it
Photo of me at Balat Cafe in Fenner district of Istanbul, Turkey October 2021

A POEM

I spent a lot of my life trying to explain my actions

However everything magnetizes to me like I’m an attraction 

Everything’s always been quite extreme

Carrying, varying bags so full they burst at the seems

Once I’ve learned it I grow stagnant…. 

I want it all won’t settle for a fragment 

I’m such an extrovert 

I want to share every new thing I learn with every person I meet….

Yet I’m also such an introvert I need to retreat 

I’ve always had an appetite for life 

and I need to eat

My feet need to meet with the beat of the street 

You cannot learn to the level I seek by remaining still and accepting meek

allowing time to slip by…

second by second

week by week…

I went to write the caption to this post and the above pondering poem came out so I will just leave it right there. Followed with this flow of thought below…

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Re: Write

woman with dark hair sitting on old wood desk in John Ryland Library with shelves with a poem on the image
Photo of me in John Rylands Library in Manchester, England 2019

I feel things. 

Deeply.

I always have. 

Maybe it’s because I’m a scorpio. 

Maybe it’s just me. 

Maybe it is part of my destiny?

I have also had to learn to release things.

I have had to learn to release my grip on life and people.

Release things that no longer serve me and my higher good. 

I don’t always know what that is but I know my soul does.

Sometimes the release is a good cry.

Sometimes it’s making wild love. (Also scorpio in me)

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It’s not always so easy to forget

How am I so forgetful? Yet I always seen to remember you.  The one thing I want to forget.  Woman with dark hair wearing a black lace shirt with a smirk on her face
A piece I wrote back in 2019 (posted on my instagram)

I never ever thought there would come a time that I would get over my ex let alone find someone who could be as kind, romantic, playful and gentle.  I felt like no one could ever ‘fill his shoes’ the bar had been set pretty high… and it wouldn’t even be fair to anyone to attempt a relationship.  The few times I tried I ended things quickly just feeling discouraged.  I considered myself lucky to had even had the opportunity to have a love like I had with my ex. 

I felt these things and this way because I wasn’t yet fully healed.

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Want to see a major shift in your life? Try replacing “I’m sorry” with “Thank you”.

Want to see a major shift in your life? Try replacing "I'm sorry" with "Thank you" woman kneeling and thinking in Istanbul, Turkey Balat district
Photo taken in November 2021 in the Balat/Fener district of Istanbul, Turkey

I don’t know if it’s an over all Canadian thing….being from the land of bumping into car doors and apologizing… lol but some how I became that “I’m sorry” person.  It came as a surprise to me as most of my younger life you’d be hard pressed to hear me apologize for anything.  But eventually I chose to learn about both accountability and forgiveness.  But here’s the thing, sometimes we can end up swaying too far and become over accountable. 

But too much apologizing also leads to a negative mindset of self…a self blame mentality…and even a hyper focus on self. 

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Well, it’s certainly been a while! But I’m back!

I’m not going to get into the ins and outs of whats transpired over the past few years yet (how ever I fully intend to!)
I’ve started sharing my poetry and creations on instagram as @Writings_of_an_ex_Mrs so that should give you a little glimpse as to where things are at now. How ever do not be misled I am no longer an EX and I have literally been on the most epic of poetic love stories I have yet to hear. I’m super pumped to start sharing it with you all.

One of the biggest changes ahead is coming in April 2021 when we (my partner Leon…well, actually FIANCE and I) start the digital nomad journey full time (we travelled to 13 countries together in 2019 prior to Covid hitting, after meeting through the Instagram poetry community!) He’s from England and yes fully equipped with that amazing accent….you can take a sneak peak here for some quick catch up and a major write up in the description section if you’d like …….


We have started sharing little clips to the You Tube shorts section since we filmed a lot of footage to share with our Instagram followers so why not start sharing that before we start with our fuller videos in April!

How is everyone doing!? Let me know in the comments if you’re still around and see this!
I will posting on a consistent basis from here on in and I will be doing some editing to my blog aesthetic too.

I Heal

How-to-Heal-a-Broken-Heart1

 

It’s been thirteen years,

It was a year that

I realized my fears

A year that I thought

I may drown in my own tears

The memory of it

Remains seared

On my heart

burned so deep

I’m charred

Branded

I felt abandoned

And Scarred Continue reading

Glossy

It’s been a while….

magazine, nails, woman, hand, fashion, poetry, thoughts,

Glossy

She learns how to become a cook

How to become a runner

Promises on how to become a better lover

All from just skimming the cover…

She falls for it

She tumbles

Stumbling on the shoestrings

Of her sneakers

That in reality,
just make her meeker

And….shall I even say

Bleaker?

Like a beacon

Of society that says

Here I am…

Look at me

I take notice

I read the cover Continue reading

Suppressed

water dance, woman, dancing, wet, dress, white dress, splash, confident

Suppressed

She drifted there

Buoyantly alone

The water gently caressing the known

Carrying her down the suppressed river

Recollections of her life made her shiver

She arose from her reverie,

Her backside wet from dismay

Her river of tears on display Continue reading

Abandoned

The air was frigid

Pungent with must

 ×

Lusty ruts

×

Odors of mold

Dingy confessions

Abandoned and untold

From her bleeding lips

Her wobbly hips

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